51 Shades of Brown, Excerpt #7 [Chapter 32]
Prasannakumaran, Anjushreepunarnava, Shakuntalabhamini, Chitragandhadeepa, & Harshadavipasa gazed in awe as Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, clad only in a dhoti that exposed his torso glistening with perspiration, scaled the mango tree with the ease and agility of an Indian tree monkey. In one swift motion, he deployed his machete, collected an armful of succulent fruits, and climbed down to place them on the table before the gasping womenfolk.
As more impressed ladies trickled into the yard, he methodically used his knife to carve out the juicy mango pulp with surgical precision. His body gyrated as he then rhythmically mixed yoghurt with the extracted pulp, whipped the combination into a lather, and poured the lassi milkshake into innumerable steel vessels, which he then served to the gathering throng of onlooking women.
The horde of desperate females moaned while they all tasted his sweet foamy nectar. The frothy substance seductively dribbled from the corners of their lips. How could they so quickly enter a euphoric trance after consuming his potion?
As the circle of surrounding women advanced towards him, he declared “Mēri lassī sabh laṛakiyōṁ kō bageecha mai lātī hai” [“My lassi brings all the girls to the yard“].
The women looked at each other and muttered “Unakī lassī apke lassī sē bēhatara hai” [“His lassi is better than your lassi“].
He confidently responded to the ladies “Hahn yeh tumse behter hei. Mai tumko sikhā sakatā huhn, lēkin mai thunsae sikhanay ke paise lunga” [“Damn right. It’s better than yours. I could teach you, but I’d have to charge“].
In no time, his body was engulfed by a sea of prowling hands…
Okay… I thought I’d read enough until I read this excerpt… ‘My lassi brings all the girls to the yard…I can teach you, but I’d have to charge.’ Classic and had me in stitches.