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51 Shades of Brown, Excerpt #6 [Chapter 29]

Guillermina Veracruz-Delaponte Rodriguez-Rodriguez couldn’t believe how far she had traveled. Just a month ago, she had set off to explore the world armed only with her Lonely Planet tour book and a backpack filled with lingerie. Yet somehow, here she was in India at a Holi festival covered with rangoli paint powder, playfully wrestling with Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram.


Had it been pure chance that brought her to his arms from across the globe?

She had been overwhelmed by the power and history of the great nation of India, but the tenderness of Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram served as a guiding light of reassurance.

How could this man, with his thick lustrous mustache that had been freshly coated with coconut oil earlier that morning but now was thoroughly caked with rangoli paint, have such familiarity with her Latino culture and heritage?


In his presence, there did not seem to be a difference between a roti and a tortilla. She felt as though she were at home.


Guillermina Veracruz-Delaponte Rodriguez-Rodriguez had refused to believe that this Brown Knight could speak her native tongue, yet he kept insisting on his fluency.

In jest, she giggled “You’re lying. You don’t speak a word of Spanish.”

In an instant, Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram forcefully clutched her body towards his and gently whispered into her ear “Yo sólo digo mentiras que rompen los corazones de las mujeres” [“I only tell lies that break women’s hearts“].

The words made her powerless, as she melted into his arms..

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Dr Pablo Pistola had become increasingly dissatisfied with satisfaction-based forces in medicine. He felt like a doctor without a purpose. He subsequently embarked on a 7 year twerking quest in the Himalayan foothills to find his true calling. During this journey, he realized that he has a secret talent: his immense knowledge about women. He understands them. Legend has it that he can size up a woman’s soul in a mere instant. He didn’t ask for these powers. But with great powers come great responsibilities. So Dr Pablo Pistola (double-board certified in Love Medicine & Romance Medicine, with fellowship training in Seduction Medicine) has been dabbling in satirical erotic writing. And if satirical erotic writing can offer a viable exit strategy from medicine, then the world will be a better place. His responsibility is to bring the stories of lust to you. He also is an avid life-long Miami Heat fan. Dr Pistola’s medical satire contributions: Twitter: @drpablopistola

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