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It’s Friday, so #SexyTime is back again! I will plan to release another excerpt next Friday. Please subscribe (“follow”), comment, & SPREAD THE WORD! And as always, use coconut oil in moderation. One bit of news to report: “51 Shades Of Brown” has already accounted for 2,582 pregnancies, & has saved countless relationships which had been floundering. This is my gift to the world. You’re welcome.

51 Shades of Brown, (BONUS) Excerpt #14 [Chapter 64]

Akshayaakshitaamritkalaalaknandaaloka couldn’t believe how much time she had spent in the queue before finally gaining access to this trendiest of Goa night clubs. Her sexual repression that had fermented for years under her family’s socially oppressive roof was as palpable as the burgeoning pressure within a vibrating tea kettle steadily approaching a boiling temperature. This potent sense of feeling stifled offered her the courage to venture alone into the seedy underbelly of this hip part of town in search of a stud bull eager to claim her fertile womb.

Bad girl

As she entered the lounge, her focus was immediately drawn to the darkest depths of the vast dance floor. The music consumed her soul. Akshayaakshitaamritkalaalaknandaaloka could feel the vibrations of the pulsating bass reverberate throughout her bones. Her body was drawn into the vortex of perspiring silhouettes rhythmically flailing their bodies to and fro in unison with the harmonious tunes. For the first time in her life, she felt free, unencumbered by social norms. Rules could not apply


As the mist emanating from the club’s steam generators receded, her eyes were drawn to a provocative dancing specimen on the small elevated platform nearly two meters above her. Laser beams sliced through the haze and revealed the shirtless Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram writhing to the melodies in front an adoring crowd below. His enticing skin-tight leather pants left nothing to the imagination and seemed to highlight every tantalizing contour and bulge of his lower body.

leather pants

Was her mind playing tricks on her?

How could he undulate so seductively yet only tease her by offering his deep stare and captivating smile?

She stood motionless like a cobra held in a trance-like state by her master’s flute music. His magnetic glistening torso appeared to shift between irresistible poses in slow-motion, as Akshayaakshitaamritkalaalaknandaaloka stared upward and drooled. He twirled in the most masculine way she had ever imagined, and she vicariously experienced brief spells of vertigo as the blurs of his beefcake spun in masterful pirouettes. Suddenly, Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram glimpsed directly at Akshayaakshitaamritkalaalaknandaaloka and pulled out two dazzling glowsticks from behind his trunk. He waved each glowstick around his enchanting body as the music continued to enrapture the galvanized audience. In one seamless motion, he flirtatiously wrapped the ends of his magnificent thick lubricated mustache around each glowstick, only to quickly withdraw the tempting shafts towards her, thereby showering her with droplets of magical coconut oil.

glow stickscoconut_oil

Every woman, upon the application of carnal pressures, will arrive at a critical threshold. Akshayaakshitaamritkalaalaknandaaloka’s tea kettle had reached the boiling temperature, unleashing a deafening whistle that bellowed from her loins…


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About the Author

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Dr Pablo Pistola had become increasingly dissatisfied with satisfaction-based forces in medicine. He felt like a doctor without a purpose. He subsequently embarked on a 7 year twerking quest in the Himalayan foothills to find his true calling. During this journey, he realized that he has a secret talent: his immense knowledge about women. He understands them. Legend has it that he can size up a woman’s soul in a mere instant. He didn’t ask for these powers. But with great powers come great responsibilities. So Dr Pablo Pistola (double-board certified in Love Medicine & Romance Medicine, with fellowship training in Seduction Medicine) has been dabbling in satirical erotic writing. And if satirical erotic writing can offer a viable exit strategy from medicine, then the world will be a better place. His responsibility is to bring the stories of lust to you. He also is an avid life-long Miami Heat fan. Dr Pistola’s medical satire contributions: Twitter: @drpablopistola

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