Justin Bieber and I are getting acquainted with each other now after burying the hatchet from our earlier dispute.
51 Shades of Brown, (BONUS) Excerpt #30 [Chapter 122]
Pressure.
This was the first time she had ever experienced pressure in this realm, which had been her passion even in her most-distant, fading memories.
A sense of urgency overwhelmed Amelie Blanchefleur Channelle Veronique Le-Roux-Mignon Cordon-Bleu-Croissant.
Le Académie Française D’échecs [The French Chess Academy] had fostered her rise as a celebrity chess prodigy, beloved in her homeland not only for her genius, but also for her voluptuous physique.
But this was a bizarre reversal of roles.
Chess champions from across France had gathered in front of this buzzing auditorium crowd to simultaneously challenge renowned chess master Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram.
He was the global icon.
Amelie Blanchefleur Channelle Veronique Le-Roux-Mignon Cordon-Bleu-Croissant could sense that her confidence was wavering. But she also knew that she needed to cultivate humility. Sometimes, the student becomes the teacher, but then becomes the student yet again. She had to learn from him.
The Brown Knight briskly paced along the inside of the circular arrangement of tables where his opponents were seated with individual chess boards. As he made his move at each table with his brown chess pieces, he swiftly tapped the chess timer as each of his baffled adversaries grew more flustered by his prowess.
Despite the mental strain of this intellectual sparring, she found her distracted mind wandering as she checked out Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram. She had grown weary of the pungent body odor unique to chain-smoking Frenchmen who would routinely court her. In contrast, the Brown Knight secreted a savory aroma of Indian spices, cilantro, and coconut oil as he passed by her table. She found herself drooling.
And hungry.
Hungry for curry.
Hungry for his affection.
Hungry for a soulmate.
Oh, the things she would do to a baguette at this moment!
Her thoughts continued to wander.
Can he tell that I want him to take me under his wings? Does his encyclopedic knowledge extend into the kama sutra love-making methodology? Is he just toying with me and biding his time because he likes to continue chess contests without ever achieving a climactic victory? Doe he enjoy tantric chess? Does he notice that I wore a bindi to match my miniskirt and bra to impress him? Does he realize that his magnificent, thick, lustrous mustache, glistening from coconut oil, makes me wonder if my bushy armpit hair would similarly shimmer with the same lubrication?! Oh shit, he’s approaching my table and I haven’t even made my move yet!
Pressure.
She had never felt so alive.
Amelie Blanchefleur Channelle Veronique Le-Roux-Mignon Cordon-Bleu-Croissant hastily made her move with her white bishop, as Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram surveyed her body, the chess board, and his options before swiftly and deliberately making his counter-move.
During the course of this competition, the Brown Knight checkmated his trembling adversaries one by one, dispatching them shamefully back towards the crowd of French spectators. She almost succumbed to her natural French instinct to completely give up and forfeit, and she nearly considered requesting an American chess champion to save her by doing her dirty work.
She felt the urge to bite her own lip to suppress her desires, but she winced as her teeth slipped and nearly ruptured her delicate snow white French skin. He had surreptitiously sprayed her face with his signature coconut oil as he walked by on the last pass!
Was this a sign?! Does he spray objects of his desire with coconut oil? Is this how he marks his territory? Does he want to take me right now?!
It was a miracle she had survived the contest so long in spite of her teeming lust. Yet here she remained, the last rival standing!
Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, with a smirk evident under his whiskers, approached her table. As the riveted audience members held their breath, the Brown Knight blew their minds with his masterful victorious maneuver: he picked up his mocha-colored chess piece, dipped the base of the horse-shaped piece in his mustache to coat it with coconut oil, placed it back on the board in its original place, and masterfully flicked the piece to send it gliding in an improbable L-shaped trajectory, thereby knocking over her white queen piece, and cornering her king piece.
Amelie Blanchefleur Channelle Veronique Le-Roux-Mignon Cordon-Bleu-Croissant stared in shock at his knight piece which now straddled her submissive, bent-over queen piece on the chess board.
Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram then whispered “Le chevalier à peau mate aura la reine blanche. Échec et mate.” [“The brown knight shall have the white queen. Checkmate.”]
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51 shades of brown 